Inspiration Boulevard

Our children, six of them, are all adopted through the Foster Care system of our country... I know that mostly, it seems, we hear alot of negative about Department of Family and Children's services but my husband and I have grown to love and encourage the system and those who serve in it as much as we can. When we became foster parents we didn't only decide to foster our counties' orphaned (however temporary) but we decided to partner with our local DFCS office to work alongside them for solutions for the children. We were inspired to find that the mission focus of DFCS is returning children to their parents, and whenever possible working with the parents, while the children remain in the home. DFCS believes that the best place for all children is with their birth family. The last resort is removing children from the home, and that only in the case of the safety of the child.

In fact, they let you know right up front that in spite of what you may have to offer children: security, safety, a nice home, lots of love, clothing, toys, and maybe even their own space; they still will want to be with their birth family and not to take it personally. 

Once children are removed from their home there is a 12-18 month process in which parents can work to get their children back by satisying a case plan developed with the safety and permancey of the child in mind. During that time the parents are given every opportunity by the county for success and reunification. A parent aide is usually assigned to the family to come alongside them and help them, inspire and encourage them to work their case plan. They are offered parenting classes, anger management if needed, rehabilitation, psychiatric evaluations, medical attention, an opportunity for eduacational training and completion and transportation if necessary to and from all of these appointments and visits with their children. The hope of all of us in these cases is that an intervention will take place not only on behalf of the child but on behalf of the parents, in order to break the cycle in their life.

While it is unusual, my husband and I develop and maintain a relationship with birth parents. We firmly believe it helps all involved and creates a non-threatening atmosphere for the birth parents and an easy transition for the kids. Additionally, it gives us an opportunity to encourage birth parents to do all to get their kids back and when and if they do we are able to continue to have a relationship with the family. We've had 12 foster children. Six have gone home, only 2 of the children of the six we are not in touch with because we believed if was better for those two, but we are in touch with the others and their families.

Now to my true inspiration... my children. I became a mother for the first time at 50 years old. After being married for 9 years my husband and I had not had any children up to this point. We became Foster Parents in November of 2004. Our first 3 children came into care days before we completed our training. We had asked for a sibling group of 3 under the age of five, a highly unusual request apparently. They were taken into custody and split up because noone wants to take more than 2 children at a time. They were 5, 2 and 8 months. We completed all that was required of us but our background checks were going to take 8 weeks. We began a plea with our local state government whose Governor is a foster father for their help and then enlisted the help of a former Senator and employer of my husband's because we felt it was crucial for these children not to be separated from one another for any length of time, especially in the case of the 8 month old. With the help of our government we were certified as foster parents within a week.

It would be Thanksgiving time before we were all together as a foster family, as we transitioned the two oldest slowly into our home. The baby actually came first. We began the process of fostering these children, who from the start were an inspiration for their resiliency and ability to just be kids in the midst of the adversity they found themselves in. A few months later, their birth Mom gave birth to another son, from a hidden pregnancy that was not known to anyone but was guessed by the case worker. He was born positive for drugs and taken in to custody immediately. He became our foster son at 10 days old. Working through the process of reunification with these parents and DFCS it became apparent that they would not get their children back. On a spring day in our local junvenile court building they cried, we cried and vowed to allow them to continue to see their children and began to make arrangements for adoption. In between that time and this we have had the other 6 foster children and we adopted the four. After their adoption, the birth parents gave birth to another son and it looked like they were going to make it. We were so very proud of them and told them so when we would visit.

Last summer, we opened our home again, having taken a break for the security of our adopted four, and received into our home a 10 day old little boy. (unrelated to the four) We will adopt him by the end of the summer. Just two months ago, the brother of my four was taken into custody and was brought to us at our request. He's doing well and may be adopted by the end of the summer as well for many reasons than I cannot go into here. These children, not just mine but all of the foster kids who have to overcome the bad decisions of parents; and who become "orphaned" through no fault of their own - inspire me. Because when all is said and done they're just kids wanting a home, a family, a chance. Children full of love and life and hope.

"True religion is taking care of widows and orphans" (translation of James 1:27)